just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
