TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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