My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
