took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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