So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
