its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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