i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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