i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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