There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
