Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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