Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
