I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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