Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
