i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
