While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
MIDGETS
????
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
