He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
