NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
