I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
