A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
