Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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