Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize