Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize