Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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