There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
