You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize