Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize