Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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