I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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