You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
