Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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