im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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