their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Enjoy the penises
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
