he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
