that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
