**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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