i just google imaged poop.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
