Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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