All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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