found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
