I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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