I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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