Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
