He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Your cock deserves a montage
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize