We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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