On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
