so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
