Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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