I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize