And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
