Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
did i just pee glitter
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