So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
50% drunk capacity currently
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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