I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i now understand why vodka
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
