Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
